An emergency caesarean section can stir up a lot of feelings Some women feel they were done out of the experience of the birth It´s a relief everything went well, but sometimes it’s hard not to think about what could have happened Some women take a long time to get over the shock of a caesarean

If it all happened so fast that you weren’t even awake to welcome your baby, you may feel cheated out of your first hours together Having a baby may feel unreal, and it may take time for everything to sink in

It’s difficult for the dads too
The baby’s father/your partner will also have a jumble of emotions He knew your baby was in danger and probably felt powerless and unneeded when the situation developed into an emergency It’s frightening to notice the atmosphere in the delivery room changing and getting really serious That fear can linger for a long time

Talking helps
No matter how you feel, it’s always a good idea to discuss with your midwife and/or obstetrician why this decision was made You can discuss the entire process step by step, and you will also receive a copy of your case notes It may be a good idea to ask whether it is likely that you will need to deliver your next baby by caesarean, too

This will help you to understand what happened and move on and will help prepare you for the birth of your next child

Talk to each other too
Don’t forget about each other Continue to discuss the birth when you are back home How do you both feel? You and your partner may feel quite differently about it, and it is important that you give each other the space to express how you each feel

And if you didn’t get to hold your baby during the first few hours, it might be comforting to remember your partner and baby got to enjoy this early together

Have you had a caesarean? Share how you felt about it here